I promise never to repeat the word in today’s title ever again. Except maybe one more time and then that’s it, that is IT. I just can’t really help myself in light of recent developments with one particular donkey, and with my life generally. I mean, come on. I have five (5) donkeys. FIVE DONKEYS – making my life – you guessed it – redonkulous.
(I’m so sorry. I’m done.)
I think we both had bigger plans for ourselves at some fuzzy point in the past. There was a time I was going to be an environmental lawyer in southern France, after a brief stint on Broadway. Jeremy also had plans to temporarily play the professional soccer circuit, followed by the creation of a wildly successful software company. Products single-handedly developed by himself. We got so close to these totally attainable dreams, sooooo close! But then life happened and it turned out that I hate flying too much to live in the south of France. I hate studying too, so law was out. Jeremy, however, is a brilliant soccer player and engineer so I don’t know what tripped him up. I think we both just got comfy with the status quo. That’s about when we stumbled on the land idea and the animal idea, and things got interesting. Not exactly equivalent to a stint on Broadway, but there is no longer a status to our quo. By our standards, anyway.
Take this weekend for example. Jeremy’s genius idea to justify the donkeys’ presence in our lives led to my hour long attempt to halter Boo, attach a lead rope and drag/pull him through the front gate onto our newly lush “driveway.” In case this information is someday pertinent to you: donkeys double as lawn mowers. You can thank me later.
There I was, waist deep in (snake-infested) grasses and wildflowers while the belligerent baby donkey enjoyed a treat akin to lobster.
I spent some serious time wading through the grass with Boo, giving me some serious time to contemplate just how far we’ve deviated from those original, fuzzy goals. Would I rather be sipping wine in Provence while simultaneously battling to save endangered French fish?
And more importantly, we’ve now honed in on a potentially lucrative use for the donkey herd. That means only four more stubborn asses to halter break, lead, and sweet talk.
I expect a very minimal return on these investments.